mystergee

tired God, I'm tired. I NEED TO SLEEP. I NEED TO SLEEP. WHY CAN'T I FUCKING SLEEP?! I feel so fucking down right now I want to just crawl under this desk and hide. Fortunately for my mental health, I don't have that option; I have someone that needs me to be functioning, healthy, and preferably in good spirits. Even if I have to force it. Fortunately for my physical health, I no longer have the option of using illicit substances to make myself feel better. So I need to get whatever rest I can and just deal with shit. Life sucks. I'll get over it. I owe it to the people that need me. And if you're reading this (you know who you are), I don't want you to think this is because of you! I won't lie, it would be nice to know why you can't talk to me, but that shouldn't be your first priority, and I'm not going to make myself sick over it, that would just be fucked up. At least now I have a clue why you didn't answer the phone this afternoon. I just can't figure out why you asked me to call back. What's funny is that even now, when I'm feeling my worst, I'm hoping you won't read this and get all pissed off at me because you had a good reason. Otherwise I wouldn't feel bad about saying I feel completely blown off. OH MY FUCKING GOD the sky is already almost as light as an overcast day. I'm going to try to sleep again, wish me luck.